Lack of Writer's Block

Is there a term for lack of writer’s block? For the last year there’s been so many good posts sitting and waiting in my queue, only to be deleted. I have a serious fear of publishing something that can cause issues while we are overseas. It goes without saying, everything I write on my blog is my own opinion (which I am not short of) and not the views of the U.S. Government. But, it is nerve wracking and makes me second guess my writing when I really start in on my opinionated pieces. Algeria is an interesting location with traditional values, fear of dramatic change, and deep suspicion of outsiders. With limited freedom of press, it makes me nervous to step over that invisible line and I find myself censoring my own writing which is very unlike me. After a year living here, I observe daily that my personal views and deep rooted values are a bit different than the majority here. That’s witnessed first hand with the glares and grimaces as I wear my bright colored pink blazer, and rainbow earrings out and about (but that will never change me). Algerian people are resilient and have experienced a lot during their independence as a country. The youth are living in between cultures; trying to maintain the traditions yet so eagerly jump at the opportunity to have a conversation on life in America. American music is popular, Netflix is a favorite past time, and I’m often asked about America and what it’s like. Honestly, it’s wild to hear the call to prayer while walking outside and Tupac blasting on the radio of car passing by at the same time.

So let’s catch up! This year has been…a doosey. We’ll start with the “rough” and get that out of the way. Sadly, we lost our beloved Kingston in October. I don’t have it in me to do an entire post because it still stings, but the long and short of it is that we arrived to Algiers with him having stomach issues, and it progressed drastically, and quick. It was an intense and absolutely grueling 8 weeks of him suffering because euthanasia is forbidden here. Honestly, that’s all I am going to write about that because I want to remember him healthy, strong, and being the best dog I ever had. He was put to sleep restfully, and is buried at the Embassy where he will forever be a diplo-dog.

Living abroad has been a learning curve for all of us. Everything is a bit more complicated than I prefer and am used to. After living here for a year, you would think I would be used to the 4 market, shopping routine, but I’m not. The relaxed attitude of fixing something with duct tape, 4 days later, is hard to understand for my fast paced, NJ mindset. I find myself constantly giving myself mini zen sessions, “drop your shoulders, relax your jaw, breath through your nose…WTF! Ok, start again…”. Daily life has taught me what I miss most about the simplicity of America, and also what I don’t need to survive. Maybe it’s psychological, but sometimes the slow pace and working without all the amenities makes life simple. My kids aren’t asking for the latest and greatest of anything because they don’t know it exists. There’s no overspending at Target, because I can only browse undisturbed online so long. But it doesn’t change my opinion that I REALLY miss delivery Thai food, and microwaveable steamed veggies.

Month 2 of living in Algeria we had an apartment fire. I should preface this with Audrey had a concussion from falling on the marble floor the same day, and was being driven home by Jamari from our health unit. So stress was high already. Our fantastic nanny, Samia was waiting for her and looking out the door. She saw flames from the peep hole. She grabbed Maxwell, ran to the bathroom, soaked a towel in water and wrapped him in it, and knew the only way out of the 3rd floor walk-up was through the flames so she walked through the flames to escape. Can we all take a second and re-read that she walked through flames with my child to save him? An absolute hero. As running out of the building, Jamari was pulling into the driveway and extinguished the fire with a colleague he was with. It was intense and terrifying. Even with the training Jamari and his colleague have, it’s different when you know it is your own home. In true Jamari fashion, I learned about said fire with a text to my cell with 3 emojis, no words (a man running, a fire, a house). If you’re ever looking to place a game of Scattergories, Jamari is your man! The Embassy moved us to temporary housing, and we were able to move back to our home a week later after they deep cleaned every inch and surface. Samia received a well deserved award from our Ambassador and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room when they described her heroism.

Audrey began and graduated kindergarten without any major incidents and zero trips to the principal! She is now into her first week of first grade and blossoming into a Mini Maureen daily. (I have never been more proud, or frustrated at the same time.) Maxwell will be attending Pre-K hopefully in a few weeks, and is excelling in his speech where he flows between English and French. They each celebrated summer birthdays, with Audrey now being 6 and Maxwell being 4. Audrey had her requested mermaid themed pool party, and Maxwell received his requested Marine and Seabee attended pizza party.

Life at post will need to be it’s own post but I can summarize that the people at post make this life worth it! It sounds cliche, but it is so true. My children have grown attached to the young Marines who work in our Embassy. My colleagues at work (YES! I work again!) make my days fly by and give me the best laughs. We spend our holidays and weekends with friends at post. I spend a lot of time volunteering for the commissary (which I also manage), and our bar which is an anomaly in Algeria where I bartend with a friend. It’s definitely a “it is what you make it” kind of place, so I work really hard to make it uplifting and fun.

Lastly, we have been jet setting while living here which has been a huge mood booster for my depression. We have been to France 3x, Mexico, Los Angeles, DC, Portugal, and head to Italy next week. In my best Daniel Tiger jingle I tell Jamari, “When I feel so mad that I want to roar…I buy a plane ticket…and jump aboard”. It’s been really cool to take the kids along on these adventures and watch them explore, try new foods, hear new languages, and listen to Maxwell out speak all of us in French. Audrey will tell you she prefers Bordeaux to Lisbon, but not over Nice. A huge reason we travel out of country so often is to continue to instill to Audrey and Maxwell that our family is in fact, normal. You don’t see mixed families in Algiers, and we are often stared at and get our picture taken out of curiosity. It’s critical for Audrey especially to see that when we travel there are all different kinds of families.

Whew! I did it! I wrote my first blog post in a year. Hopefully this inspires me to continue publishing and stop deleting the posts I write. We’re here for another year and have many more adventures ahead so I promise I will share more.