Proof of Mom

I recently read an article that discussed how parents, specifically mothers, avoid getting in pictures in today’s time because social media forces you to believe you need to look perfect in every post. That resonated so loud with me. It’s true! I avoid getting in a picture because I look messy, I don’t have makeup on, I have dark circles, I haven’t washed my hair, the angle isn’t right, my mama stomach is showing, my house is a mess, every single excuse I can use. The other reality is that I am usually the one behind the camera (phone) snapping the photo and feel awkward asking other people to take the picture including myself. As I was meditating on this sad truth for most Mama’s like myself, my inner voice kept screaming that my kids don’t care and won’t care in years to come. They will want to see the photo of me snuggling them on the couch or wearing my Mom bun and yoga pants while having a dance party in our living room. My kids won’t care about the JCPenney perfect portrait as their memories of me; they want real me, the same way I cherish the photos of my dad and I candidly watching TV. You can thank this shower time meditation with the influx in photos you will see of me and my cherubs.

This reality check also prompted me to step out of my comfort zone and schedule a photo session with a favorite photographer, Ellice Vargas, for the kids and I. (Full Disclosure: Jamari had his quota of family photos with the newborn pics we had done a few months prior, so I have to wait a full year for another professional family shot). Although my selfie game is stellar, sometimes that high resolution photo without my arm in it makes a better shot.

Social media is such an awesome tool to keep friends and family up to date, catch up with old friends, growing businesses, and networking. It is also notorious for forcing you to feel like you need to keep up or that the grass is greener. For every picture posted perfectly to social media I am certain there are at least four other pictures in the phone leading up to that one photo. No one posts the melt downs their toddler had to get that perfect photo, the argument that happened between the couple over her taking too many photos or him not capturing the perfect angle for their selfie, the toys scattered all over the living room floor and laundry piled on every flat surface imaginable in the house. You only see what the person wants you to see. While I’d like my social media accounts to appear polished and perfect, I don’t have the energy or time to devote to that. I rather be raw and show the moments that every other parent, spouse, person is dealing with at one time or another. Could you imagine if our parents or grandparents had the technology we have and didn’t have the film rolls and slides? I love looking through the old photos my mom has and noticing how nothing is staged and posed, everything is candid. Then I scroll through my phone (because who has real photos?) and notice all candid shots end up in the ‘trash’. I’m making a conscious effort to change that because in the end pictures make the memories live on and are so important.

Enjoy this glamorous collage of photos that I never posted to social media for one reason or another but decided to let go and let real life shine.